Loose translation: I’ll request for an Uber in about 5 minutes.
I’m late quite a fair bit. It’s not that I can’t manage my time properly. It’s just that I get distracted very easily. Time to do my make up? Let’s surf the web for a little bit. Time to get dressed? Let’s play with my dog first.
Or I’m always taking a nap. Dinner at 8? I’ll probably oversleep and wake up at 7.50.
‘I’m on my way’ used to be my favourite until Uber established the ‘Share Location’ function. Now my friends text to ask for my location AND I CAN’T LIE.
2. Okay, I’ll find a place for us.
Used when: I’m the first to arrive and we haven’t decided on a place to go to.
Loose translation: I’m going to wander about aimlessly until you get here.
Last Friday I met my bestfriend at Boat Quay. She was running a little late so she asked me to settle down at any bar I fancy. I walked the stretch of Boat Quay twice before she arrived, and there’s when I discovered:
‘Omg there’s a cat café here???’
‘Really?!!! Shall we try?’
We spent an hour at the cat café before finally getting to a bar.
This is what happens when you trust me to find a place for us.
We. Play. With. Cats.
On a side note, can I have 27 fluffy cats now?
3. No worries! Take your time.
Used when: I have to wait for someone.
Loose translation: OoooOOOoooOoooOOOoh time to go shopping.
Sometimes I’m on time or ( surprise, surprise) early for appointments, so I end up waiting for someone. Usually we’re both late, but the other person’s much later, so I still end up waiting for someone.
If I’m left alone in town, trust me, I will go shopping. The best way to kill time while waiting is by emptying my bank account, one cute outfit at a time.
But the worst place for me to wait for someone? Ikea.
It’s worse than leaving a kid in a candy shop – I go crazy. I’ll be leaving Ikea with toilet brushes, dustbins, scrubs and towels that I never knew I needed.
Every time someone texts to tell me they’ll be late, my wallet shrivels up in fear.
4. I don’t know where that is…
Used when: I have to get to a new bar/restaurant
Loose translation: I can use Google Maps but come get me please?
I use up my mobile data every month and everyone thinks it’s because of all the stalking I do on social media platforms ( I’m kidding… Maybe.) But it’s really because I’m on Google maps more than half the time trying to figure out exactly where I am.
My friends love trying new spots so I’m usually left figuring out these godforsaken places. I’m also really bad with directions and locations– I’m a tourist in my own country, but one with GPS so I’m really not that bad, right?
Friends who love me usually offer to pick me up from where I get off from my cab/Uber. Friends who don’t love me listen out for my wails and cries of help because desperate times… desperate measures?