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A 12-step Guide to Acing your Finals

1. Purchase black-rimmed round glasses. If you're going to study hard, you have to look the part.

2. Throw your social life out the window. Flush your phone down the drain. Lock your room and swallow the key. Realise that this is the time to study hard. Who needs friends when you can have a high CAP/GPA.

3. Dim your computer brightness to the bare minimum. Do not have anything shining brighter than your future.

4. Store a generous supply of instant coffee packets and cup noodles. Steal the family's electric kettle or thermo pot because hot water to anything is your recipe for success and survival.

5. Smile when anyone asks about your progress. Then go home to hug your knees and cry.

6. Spend your money on 20 different markers and highlighters. Use them to highlight entire pages.

7. Loiter outside your professors' offices with swollen eyes and lecture notes. They might offer sympathy tips.

8. Memorise only the important information, like the Macdonalds delivery number.

9. Print the semester's worth of notes and organise, label and file them neatly.

10. Get settled in your room with no distractions.

11. Take deep breaths to calm yourself.

12. Then clean your room because there's no better time to do it.

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