What We Say VS What We Mean - Singaporeans and Food

1. Piss-za

Used when: Settling food for Netflix & chill

Loosely translated: Pizza

Say goodbye to Starhub & lepak. Move over, iMax & climax. Make space for Netflix & chill because booty calls and sleepovers can stream OITNB in HD now.

And taking the crown for the best Netflix & chill food is everyone’s favourite – Pizza.

It’s almost a panty-dropper – hearing a whisper of ‘I’m ordering pizza, whadya want?

Of course, in Singapore, it’s mostly ‘ Eh, what piss-za do you want?

No piss involved, I promise you. If you hear there’s piss-za up for grabs, go for it.

2. Pok

Used when: Deciding on restaurants when Muslim friends are around

Loosely translated: Pork

‘Go eat Swee Choon la.’

‘Crazy. Got pok. Cannot eat Char Siew Bao’

We do our best to accommodate everyone’s diet – vegetarian, gluten-free and others – so dinner plans can sometimes be decided on through elimination rounds. No seafood? No Dempsey Long Beach Chili Crabs. No pok? No Thomson Road Meng’s Ba Chor Mee. Whatever’s left after the eliminations is what we’re having. Easy.

3. Poh-mellow

Used when: Mid-autumn Festival comes around, or when we’re in Bangkok, because that fruit’s just peeled and packed for our convenience everywhere we go?

Loosely translated: Pomelo.

A crazy common mispronunciation that Singaporeans are guilty of: Poh-mellow.

Correct pronunciation: Pum-melo

This fruit’s usually eaten during Mid-autumn festival (Mooncake festival) and can I be the first to admit that as much as I absolutely love the flesh of the fruit, the work required to peel it is just too much?

Then there are the people who buy Pomelos just for the rind – I mean, haven’t you seen the Pomelo Cat? Google it.

4. Chis-cake

Used when: All day, everyday.

Loosely translated: Cheesecake

‘And what cakes do you have today?’

‘We have the red velvet chis-cake, the Oreo chis-cake, the no-bake strawberry chis-cake and the brownie chis-cake.’

Okay no café/restaurant has ever gone on such an impressive list of cheesecakes here in Singapore, but you get my drift.

On a side note, winner for the dessert with the best pick-up potential goes to Tiramisu, cause I hella tira-Miss-U. (Wink)

5. Ex-presso

Used when: We need a caffeine fix.

Loosely translated: Espresso.

Sit near the coffee machine at a café or a Starbucks for a day, and watch how many times a Barista’s face twitches every time someone asks for an ex-presso.

(Bad pun alert)

For the sake of your local baristas, please ex-presso your es-presso coffee order correctly next time.

Hahahahaha, please still love me.

6. All-munds

Used when: A healthy snack is needed

Loosely translated: Almonds.

Correct pronunciation: Ah-munds.

Think of it as a little scream – Ah! Munds.

Bonus: Sell-mon

Loosely translated: Salmon

Correct pronunciation: Sam-uhn.EndFragment